Sarah Palin, What is it about the retarded moose hunting winking waste of space that makes people like her.
For those who don’t know Sarah Palin ran as McCain’s Vice president in 2008 as part of the Republican “Crypt keeper and ‘oh look a woman’ platform. After their inevitable defeat she returned to Alaska and carried on her main achievement, quitting.
Her speech was like a drunk guy rambling in which she criticised everyone but herself including the greatest line ever uttered since Hitler’s “2 Jews walk into a bar” joke:
“So in honour of the American soldier, how about you quit making stuff up”
So with that glorious statement still resounding she went into the sunset and never re-appeared.
In a perfect world all that would be true however our Sarah is too popular to fade a la General MacArthur. In her 2 years of the spotlight she’s pissed off just about everyone including the retarded, Downs syndrome charities the republicans and even McCain in a sort of Frankenstein’s monster turning on it’s creator sort of way.
However despite the fact she makes about as much sense as Darth Vader punching a mouse in the Scrotum she has her admirers, mainly the mouth breathing druelling dimwits who watch Fox news and their bastard offspring the Teabaggers.
Teabaggers is not what you think, although wearing teabags dangling off their foreheads isn’t the best move. Basically they are pissed off at the US Government throwing billions into fucked up banks, although many seem to forget that Bush started that trend. It has now become a haven of Racists lunatics and really shoddy pilots and the illiterate. Ladies and Gentlemen… Behold the best of the best:
These Tea-baggers are mental BUT not as mental as our Sarah.
One thing you will notice is how she goes on about Hopey McChange using a Teleprompter, because apparently if he is so smart he’s meant to memorise a 30,000 word policy speech. Our Sarah would never use such a tool. Instead she doe what every honest American does and scribble on her hand.
What does she have written on it.
Probably important statistics to make a reasoned argument you would think.
“Lift American Spirits”
How far gone from reality would you a politician need to be to rite LIFT AMERICAN SPIRITS on your hand, surely that is the main aim of giving a speech to a bunch of people who are druelling so much the saliva has mixed with their teabags hanging off their necks.
Tea-bagging aside Sarah’s other big gripe is the use of the word retarded. We all know that Sarah has a baby with Downs syndrome and she definitely doesn’t like to have her family in the spotlight (Unless she’s campaigning in that case they’re out in force) Retard-gate (Not a name for her Vagina) came about when Obamas chief of staff Rahm Emanuel called Democratic special interest groups “retards” Sarah immediately went on air and demanded he be fired
(Apparently you can tell a senator to go fuck himself on the senate floor but you can’t say Retarded, HOW RETARDED IS THAT!!!)
In Rahm’s defence he did apologise albeit to the retarded, Family Guy being the pop culture King took it one step further and had Chris go on a date with a Downs Sufferer who joked that Sarah Palin was her Mom.
Sarah exercising the restraint she is known for then went on to slam Fox (Her employer) over this obvious joke which led to the greatest “Oh Snap!” of the Decade in which the actress portraying the girl released a statement saying:
“I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor. I thought the line “I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska” was very funny. I think the word is “sarcasm”.
In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.”
In Sarahs defence she also advertised her facebook and got her daughter to speak out too, but remember
HER FAMILY IS OFF LIMITS