Now the smoke has settled (Unless you live at 50,000ft) we can finally work out what the hell we were all watching last night.
I am of course talking about the leaders debate on ITV which as Alastair Stewart constantly reminded us was a ‘Historic First’ and for two of the leaders was a ‘historic last’ Of course ITV have set the bar for the Sky News Debate (Which promises to be as fair as an Iranian election)
Every News channel was dominated by the Debate (Except ITV oddly) and how it was a Historical first. LIVE FROM A STUDIO and everything. Oddly enough the Studio used was the same one used for the Krypton Factor, it was nice to see the original Decorations mixed in with the crap left over from “15 to 1” also, it looked like an 80’s nightclub not a place where serious things were said.
Well that was the expectation what we instead had was not so much a debate as a posh boy beating up the old knackered cleaner who just wants to go home begging the other boys to make him stop. It would begin with Brown saying a variation of “Nick Agrees” then leading into a story of his parents or his policy. While Just call me a
cunt Dave reminisced about the times he met a minority who wasn’t cleaning his dorm.
Once both Posh boy and the cleaner were lying exhausted in a heap of frothy pre-cum Nick Clegg (Yes BBC he is a real person don’t think I’ve noticed the sheer lack of attention you’re giving him) swanned in and cleaned up the mess with policies and telling it like it is. (Maybe that is why he won’t be PM. We now have the attention span of a fucking goldfish with ADD and Alztheimers and we can only take information in small soundbites)
Eventually the debate moved from the elderly cleaner getting buggered both literally and metaphorically to what can only be described as a Hollyoaks-esque love triangle with both Call me Dave and Brown fighting over Nicks love. At one point Clegg said he didn’t agree with brown and if you slow the tape down you can see Gordon’s heart break. While Cameron did what every stroppy teen did and try to tar Clegg with the expenses scandal a sort of “Fuck you I don’t even need you anyway you whore!” statement that will ultimately seal their fate should Parliament get hung.
The Debates did prove one thing. That it works better in the US because the candidates don’t have the luxury of PMQ’s where all this crap we saw yesterday can be sorted. Instead of a reasoned debate that we associate with the US Elections we were instead treat to a re-run of last wednesday minus the Boos from the rest of the house.
My only gripe of the night was that talentless alcy Alastair Stewart shouting like a kid who needed a piss, Moderators should be calm not shouting like a fucking Spaniel on LSD.